Pursuing minimalism comes from a place of privilege. I know I take it for granted most of the time. If we have more than we need, we need to acknowledge and be grateful for all that we have.
But sometimes, the sheer quantity of our belongings can become overwhelming.
For military families, so much of our military family life is out of our control. I was desperately looking for ways to have some control of the chaos around me.
Few years back, I read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. I was inspired, but the whole idea was too extreme for me. I was a young(er) military spouse, my husband was deployed, and my kids were 2, 4, and 6 year old. How would I even go through this mega-process?
There are many ways to simplify
What really kept me from jumping on the KonMari bandwagon was the idea of going through a major declutter ONE TIME, and you should only be left with the few things in your house that make you happy. Your home would be much easier to maintain.
Loved the idea, but the method felt too overwhelming for me to even start. Either way, there were plenty of great ideas and lessons in the book.
Military families have to keep in mind that our housing size fluctuates
At the time, I was living in (what I considered) a bigger house. I prefer smaller houses because I don’t like cleaning. I love a clean house, but I don’t like cleaning (it’s a real dilemma, I know). But a foreclosure popped up in the area we were house hunting and my husband and I decided to try flipping a house.
This house became available, for less money than the smaller houses (even after renovation costs). We figured it would be an easy sell when we PCSd. This story deserves a post (or an entire website) of its own.
After we fixed up the house, I began staging it, so if we got orders to move, we would be ready to sell. If the corner of a room looked bare, I would scour the Internet to find some unattainable inspiration picture and try to decorate like that.
Because this house was bigger than what I was used to, I didn’t realize how many unnecessary items I accumulated. The size of the house disguised the clutter, so it didn’t hit me… yet.
Then came our next PCS. We moved OCONUS into a much smaller house… with no garage. It was like playing Tetris trying to fit everything in my new house. The house felt too tight. I had to do something – if not for having a functional living space, for my sanity. My anxiety was through the roof.
Simplifying your life can start with small, sustainable habits
This is where I think it helps to know yourself. Because I have an aversion to extreme methods (whether it’s dieting, exercise, etc), I knew I had to start small. The key was to “focus on the step in front of me, not the whole staircase.”
I also consider myself a methodical person, so I knew I had to work on getting my mindset right. This decluttering journey was going to be built on small, sustainable habits, not an extreme one-time-and-done deal. All of a sudden, it didn’t feel that overwhelming.
I started that same day with the junk drawer in my kitchen. It was emptied out, and I wiped it down. Using one of Marie Kondo’s tips, I found small, spare boxes from around the house to compartmentalize the drawer. I only put back what we needed. Other items were either thrown away or put back where they actually belonged.
The whole process took me 15 minutes. No big deal. That is all I did on my first day. That’s it. I loved admiring my “pretty” junk drawer. I felt accomplished and it genuinely made me happy.
The next day, I kept looking around to see what small project I could tackle next. I was feeling invincible after organizing one drawer (ridiculous, I know…)
The pace at which you go about your small projects is irrelevant. The point is to keep going until you are content with your progress. So pick any small place to start!
“Mini-projects” are less intimidating but still satisfying
I kept assigning myself small, doable decluttering projects, every time I had a chance. Some projects were bigger than other projects. But none of these projects were overwhelming. It became almost therapeutic.
The more I decluttered, the less anxious I became. As an added bonus, my process became more efficient.
I felt like I didn’t have as many chores staring at me when I was home. I chipped away at my house, one mini-project at a time, until it was time to PCS again.
It became a habit to look for small projects around the house. It became more than just a habit – I started enjoying it. I always felt a sense of accomplishment afterwards, and after a while, there was a visible difference in my house. It was noticeably easier to clean.
I felt more relaxed at home.
Every PCS is an opportunity to simplify
And guess what? Our next PCS had us moving into an even smaller house! I am well on my way to living in a tiny home by the end of my husband’s military career (I’m kidding… for now.)
As a result of getting rid of most of the excess, dealing with our next PCS was significantly easier. My anxiety over my household goods was in check.
It’s been about 5 years since I started simplifying my household, and I still assign myself mini-projects to declutter my home. I am not the picture-perfect minimalist, but I have come to embrace simplicity in this military life.
Military families actually have an advantage in having to pack up our homes every few years. It gives us an opportunity to regularly take inventory of our belongings and see what we no longer need. And I have come to enjoy the challenge of it.
What I did not understand at the beginning of the simplifying process, is that this is the pursuit of a better version of you. You are not comparing yourself to others. You are only comparing yourself to yourself.
You are not pursuing some impossible standard you find in a book or online. You keep simplifying until YOU are happy with the simplified version of your life.
