In raising kids, we try to teach them some of our values, in the hopes that they come to see the benefit of it. Maybe we’re just hoping they avoid some of our painful mistakes. We hope that the lessons we learned will be used to help our kids live their best lives.
Minimalism cannot be forced on others
My kids are not adults yet. I have no idea if they will live their adult lives, regularly decluttering their homes and treasuring the simple things. I don’t beat them over the head with lessons on minimalism and PowerPoint briefings to explain my pursuit of a simpler life. They would be bored out of their minds.
But let me tell you what happened this past Christmas, that made me think I might be teaching them about minimalism, without even knowing it.
Every year, my husband and I tell the kids “You don’t need to buy gifts for us. We want you to save your money. We just enjoy watching you open your presents.” But inevitably, they ask to go to the store so they can buy something for us with their money. One of my love languages is gifts, so I understand this.
My 3 kids went into the BX to go shopping for us. My oldest, who does not care to go shopping, promptly gave some money to the younger 2. The younger 2 put their heads together and they thought long and hard about what would make for good gifts.
They know when we are genuine
Christmas came and it was time to open presents. They were so excited for me to open my gift. It was the sweetest thing. In my bag was a Bath and Body Works soap and a box of dark chocolates.
I love both these things. But that’s not what really got me… My youngest told me “See mom? We got you something that can be used up, so you don’t have to find a place to put it!” I don’t recall giving her a lecture on finding a place for all your belongings, yet she had picked up on that from observing me.
I appreciated the soap and chocolates even more than I already did… I think I even got something in my eye…
I’m generally a frugal person. After the COVID-19 pandemic hit, I was buying generic hand soap by the gallon, so a bottle of Bath and Body Works soap felt like luxury! And who doesn’t love the smell of those things… My kids knew I loved it, but they also knew I wouldn’t buy it for myself. Pursuing simplicity always heightens my sense of gratitude.
And as for the dark chocolates, they told me “We knew you love dark chocolate, and we knew you’d eat it, so you don’t have to find a place to store it.” Ouch… they know me TOO well…
They are watching us… more than we know…
Back to my main point – my kids figured out on their own that consumables make great gifts for someone who is trying to reduce clutter in their life. They just picked it up from watching me go about my daily business. That’s both encouraging and frightening at the same time. I can try to lecture them (which I do plenty) on all sorts of things, but ultimately, it really is what I do that they pick up on.
In the meantime, I am treasuring my fancy soap. I’ve been rationing it ever since Christmas. I love it, not just for the pretty smell, but for what it told me about my thoughtful kids (even my oldest came back to approve their choice before checking out!).
Oh, and I’m eating a piece of chocolate right now… in the name of decluttering.
