Sometimes, when you have been a military member/spouse for a while, you forget how strange the military world really is. Living within your means seems like a no-brainer, but it can be complicated when you are a military family.
We have a built-in hierarchy (for lack of a better term)
Let’s start with the most obvious place – RANK. I am not about to argue whether or not the military should have a rank structure. I am simply pointing out the fact that it has one. And it plays an integral part in our service member’s career.
But with the rank system, comes unintended (or intended) social consequences for military families.
Many of us live in base housing. We are often grouped together in our neighborhoods by the service member’s rank. It’s easy to compare what we own – not only do we work together, we live together. I can’t think of too many other jobs where you spend this much time together.
Even if we live off-base, we judge people based on where they live. I think it’s just human nature.
Pay grade is tied to rank. Because our service member’s pay is public information, we can generally figure out how much other people make (if you care to look it up). Think about that for a moment. That is pretty weird from an outsider’s point of view.
We can’t escape the labels
While there are obvious reasons for ranks and other labels to exist for service members at work, we would be kidding ourselves if we said these labels do not make its way down to the family members.
“Officer”, “enlisted”, “SNCO”, “pilot”, etc. These are some of the words we use to label service members. But when you work and live together, we see these labels trickle down to the family members. I remember one kid in school labeled “the General’s kid”. He was just a regular kid trying to get through school. But people looked at him like the standards were higher for him because of who his dad was. That’s tough.
To improve your financial fitness in the military world, you have to go against the grain
Trying to live up to these labels makes us naturally vulnerable to “keeping up with the Joneses.” We feel like we should be keeping up with other families, with service members of the same rank. We don’t have the full picture of another family’s financial situation – but we make assumptions based on pay grade.
During one PCS, we were offered a rental by the guy my husband was replacing. He was my husband’s same rank (same BAH), living in an area 30 min from the base, and he was PCSing right before we got there. It would make sense for us to move right into the house as they moved out. Timing-wise, it was perfect.
Once we started looking into the rental, however, we realized the house was in an upscale neighborhood, and rent was well above our BAH, not including utilities. And while a 30 minute commute is not the longest commute, that is a lot more time on the road and money spent on gas than the more affordable neighborhoods we found that had a 10 minute commute from base.
BAH is supposed to cover 95% of a military member’s rent and utilities. Many military families outspend their BAH. Sometimes, it can be due to family size, desirable school zones, or pet situations. And yes, we deal with inflation and increase in rental prices. But sometimes, we spend more on housing for the status that comes with it.
In this particular instance, we were able to find housing closer to the base for much less money… in a more modest neighborhood, with comparable schools. We simply chose not to pay for the status of the expensive neighborhood. Go against the grain.
It always pays to live within your means – not just in the military
You might think I am oversimplifying the issue. There are certainly many factors that play into a decision on where to live. Are you dual military? Does your spouse work outside the home? Extra income certainly helps us to afford more.
But the point I am trying to make is this – it is ALWAYS worth making the effort to live within our means.
So why are we trying to keep up with the Joneses? It’s actually in our best interest, NOT to. It is obviously good for us financially. But it is also good for us mentally, as we can focus more on our gratitude and not let comparisons steal our joy. It is a choice we make. And after so many years of trying NOT to keep up with the Joneses, I can tell you – it has been well worth it.
If you have clear objectives as to what you are trying to achieve financially from your family’s time in the military – it pays to not follow the crowd (literally). Don’t let social media and other people tell you how you should be living.
